


After It's Over

by orphan_account



Series: domestic fluff [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Break Up, Feels, Fluff, Hugs, Humanstuck, Kissing, M/M, Skipping Class, Talking, Technically this isn't underage since the age of consent in Texas is 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 13:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dirk breaks up with Jake, he ends up running into the brother of his brother's crush. And they talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After It's Over

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff. Ex-breakup _FEELINGS. _Talking.__

“We’re over. Goodbye, Jake.”

 

Saying that still hurt you so much. It was a painful end to a crumbling relationship. Like it or not, you had put a lot into the thing you guys had to try to make it work and it just didn’t. You had spent endless amounts of time going out of your way to make sure Jake was happy. You had tried to give him his space when he asked for it. You had dropped everything many times to be there for him when he wanted you. You took things at a pace that he was okay with. You tried not to be clingy and persistent.

 

The two of you had started out so great, or so you had thought. You thought Jake understood your feelings and liked you too. He smiled and laughed and held your hand and spent time with you and kissed you and made you feel like the best guy alive. You thought he was as determined to make this work as you. 

 

You were wrong. 

 

But the worst part was that Jake didn’t want to openly admit that it wasn’t working out. Instead, he kept stringing you along by the heart, making half-assed attempts at keeping it going. Making half-hearted apologies. Ignoring you when you really needed him and needed to talk to him, when you just needed to know that he was still there and that he still cared about you.

 

A cold, painful convulsion seizes your body as you remind yourself that saying those words to him really made you feel good too. You cut off this diseased mess of a relationship from yourself and left a bloody stump in its place, but at least it’s gone. At least you can try to think about other things. 

 

You’ll do your best to cover it up with things that don’t matter. If you do that enough, you might someday be able to tell yourself Jake wasn’t that important and that you are far better off without him. 

 

Yeah.

 

Right. 

 

So why is it so hard to stop feeling so lost? Jake was your everything. You put your heart and soul and dreams into being his boyfriend. Now that he’s cut off, you just don’t know what to do.

 

You realize that you’re moving. And probably close to crying. 

 

You stop and force Jake to the back of your mind to pay attention to your surroundings. Somehow, since you walked away from Jake after breaking up with him, you’ve made your way to some high-rise apartment building. You stare at it for a while, feeling a light breeze dry the damp spots at the corners of your eyes and finally remember where this is.

 

This is the place where your brother Dave’s friend/crush lives. Dave keeps getting John to convince the kid to invite them over after school so they can hang out and Dave can fill his not-so-pure desires to be around his crush. Vantas. It’s not a big problem to Egbert since he lives in the building right beside this one. You usually come by here on your orange IZH Hybrid to pick him up every evening, because you’re an awesome bro like that. And because you like seeing him make a face at your My Little Pony helmet.

 

School probably still won’t be out for a while. Too bad you left the bike back at the parking lot. You’re not going back to get it. Dave can take it for today. Hell, he can sweep Vantas off his insecure ass and cart him around all evening, rapping Disney song lyrics until he made that guy’s heart go doki-doki.

 

You snort at the mental image and a smile attempts to tug at your face, but the humor fades quickly, leaving you once again feeling empty and so, so, so alone. 

 

You’re still just standing in front of the building, so you stick your hands in your pockets, looking around for something that might motivate you to do more than wander around aimlessly. Come to think of it, how did you not get hit by a car getting here?

 

“Dirk... Strider?”

 

Your eyes pass over the guy before you realize he’s calling your name. You blink at him for a few seconds before recognizing him. Kankri. Karkat Vantas’s older brother, who graduated a few years ago but passed up college to take care of his brother, kind of like your Bros, but then again you really don’t know the complete story about that.

 

Kankri is carrying two bulging cloth bags in one hand, just back from buying groceries. He’s wearing a loose red T-shirt over close-fitting black pants, and the light brown of his arms almost shines in the Texas sun. Not as much as your pale white skin, probably. 

 

Kankri steps closer to you and a faint frown grows on his mouth. “I’m not trying to be presumptuous of your situation at the moment, nor am I implying that you are in any kind of situation that might warrant concern from me or anyone else, but I know that your school, since it is the same school that Karkat goes to as far as I understand, is still in session. And I don’t believe that it has an early release scheduled for today, and even if it did I have asked Karkat to inform me of such an alteration to his daily schedule. Now, I have never considered you as the type of person to involve himself in activities that would potentially lead to temporary or permanent suspension from the school, though I would assume that if you were not well, you would not take it upon yourself to walk about the city, even if you felt better later. So, I hope you are not offended if I ask you what caused you to come here? If Karkat disappeared from school and I was not previously made aware of it, I would expect to see John or Dave here before you.”

 

“No, nothing’s wrong with him.”

 

“Oh. That’s good to hear.” Kankri pursed his lips for a moment. He’s probably trying to think up a way to restate his last question without coming off as persistent. He’s weirdly considerate that way, or at least that’s what you’ve seen each time you have to go up to their apartment to drag Dave away from Karkat and John.

 

You really, really, really don’t want to be around anyone right now, but listening to Kankri drone on about something--anything--might be a great way to forget about the pain of breaking up with Jake without trying to snatch your brothers’ alcohol or driving yourself into a steaming wreck on your bike. It was a good unconscious idea that you left the school without it.

 

You shrug. “I just needed to get out of there.”

 

Kankri’s mouth opens slightly and you’re not sure what conclusion he’s come to. He looks down to switch the bags to his other hand and when his face comes up again, he’s back to that passive calm that would be great on a documentary about something pleasantly boring, like wall paint. 

 

“Well then, I apologizing for being bold or hasty, but I would find it appropriate to take this moment to offer my residence as a place for you to pass the time, in whatever way you deem fitting for--now. Unless you had an idea of a different place to which you wished to go?”

 

“Not really,” you admit. “Thanks. I don’t want to impose on you or anything.”

 

“You wouldn’t be imposing.”

 

“Then mind if I help you out with carrying those as thanks?” You gesture towards the bags he’s carrying. He hands one of them over and you take it, glancing inside without meaning to. It’s full of smaller bags of lentils and unpackaged fresh vegetables, some of which are foreign to you. A jar with the word GHEE on bold is facing up, balanced on top. 

 

Kankri is starting to walk towards the building, slowly, so that you can follow.

 

It doesn’t take long for the elevator to come down to the lobby, and nobody else enters with you and Kankri. He pressed the button for the sixth floor and you wait in silence as the elevator goes upwards, which makes you begin to question your choice of chilling in Kankri Vantas’s apartment. You don’t even know him all that much. And Dave will probably find it massively awkward when he finds you at his crush’s place. 

 

Not like you can do much now. You already accepted his invitation, and you don’t really have anything else to do. The elevator arrives at the sixth floor and you follow him wordlessly, though you know as well as he does that the apartment number is 612. It’s an oddly familiar path walking to the plain beige-painted door, and you can almost fool yourself into thinking this is the routine task of picking Dave up, instead of being a truant after skipping the rest of the school day.

 

Maybe Roxy covered for you, somehow. She’s great like that. The best kind of friend you could ask for. Plus, she knew that you had been planning on breaking up with Jake soon, and she had been reminding you that she’d be there for you if you needed her.

 

You don’t really need a girl to sit with you and pet your hair while you talk about feelings and eat sugary things and watch stupid movies or tv shows, though. You just need some space away from everything to piece yourself together.

 

Kankri leads you to the kitchen and you do your best to help him put the groceries away, but you’re completely lost on some of the stuff he bought. You settle for taking things out of the bags and setting them on the countertop for him to deal with, and putting the chicken and lamb away. 

 

You notice a clock while closing the refrigerator door which shows that it is 1:03 pm. So you have another two hours until Karkat arrives with Dave and John. 

 

What the hell are you going to do? Just ask Kankri to talk about something random and hope he won’t pry into the reason you left school?

 

You lean against the wall and stubbornly refuse to fall into the habit of pretending to check your phone to avoid uncomfortable social situations. Besides, you turned your phone off to avoid having to talk to Jake. Or Dave, who may have been confronted by Jake about the breakup. Or Roxy, because as amazing and helpful as she is, you can’t deal with her right now. Or anyone, actually.

 

Kankri stacks the bags of lentils and beans and other things that you don’t really know the name for and leaves them in front of an army of glass containers filled to various amounts with similar dry food products. He turns back to look at you. You take off your shades to be polite, though it leaves you feeling exposed. You hold them in your hands, not wanting to put them in your pants pocket.

 

“Would you like something to eat or drink?” Kankri asks.

 

“Just water. Thanks.” You take a breath and blow it out, mind trying to come up with something to break the ice that’s building between the two of you. “Mind if I sit on your couch?”

 

“Go ahead. I’ll be over in a moment.”

 

You walk out of the kitchen space and pass through the hall, with a door on either side--one leads to Karkat’s room, the bathroom, and the laundry room, as you recall, so the other side must be Kankii’s, not that it’s important for you to know--and your eyes squint momentarily against the bright light coming through the window into the living room. It looks so different without three teenagers playing games, or watching movies, or arguing over homework. The smooth wood table is pulled up a little close to the couch, leaving a lot of room in front of the television. Shelves on either side of the television contain books, movies, games and odd little things that don’t have a home anywhere else. It’s still all incredibly organized and tidy. The walls are covered half by movie posters and half by landscape prints. 

 

You sit on the couch and nudge the table away from you just enough to feel more comfortable before depositing your shades on it.

 

Kankri comes in as soon as you sit down, carrying two glasses of iced water and--oh right, he has those things--two round coasters. He gives you the coaster first and then passes you your drink before sitting on the opposite end of the couch. You examine it, having little better to do.

 

It’s black with a white star in the center. Kankri’s is the same. He sees you looking at it and his face breaks into a small smile that just fits his face so much.

 

“We’ve had those for a while. When he was younger, Karkat used to make constellations on the carpet with them. We pushed the furniture to the walls and took up as much of the floor as we could reach. We just got them as a gift in a pack of fifty and he didn’t want to give any of them away.” He broke off. “Ah, sorry for that. I didn’t mean to reminisce about silly childhood antics of my brother. It’s irrelevant.”

 

You set the coaster on the table. “We weren’t really talking about anything else, man. And it’s cute.” The water is cold and as you drink it, you realize how thirsty you really are. You down half the glass and put it down to cover the little star. 

 

“I suppose it is... cute. It’s just one of the things he used to do with me before I got into high school and I didn’t have as much time with him.”

 

“Is that a bad topic?”

 

“No, of course not. Though it reminds me of how much he’s also changed throughout the course of both middle school and high school. Perhaps my own drawing away from him made him come to the conclusion that he should draw away from others, to alienate himself in an attempt to feel more in control of his feelings and to act mature. Our father’s passing didn’t help his personal outlook either. Though, I am grateful for the fact that he met your brother and John. He has other friends, but he does spend nearly as much time with them as he does Dave and John. It might have been their constant exposure to him in his close life that has encouraged him to open up to more people, and even be more open with me. I would thank them, but I don’t want Karkat to know how concerned I was about this.”

 

“You really care about him.” You state the obvious, but it’s surprising how openly honest Kankri is being about something so dear to him. “Why are you telling me this?”

 

“Well, I’m not intentionally seeking out your company as a proxy for your brother, just for me to share my gratitude for his good influence on my brother, but I have been hoping for some time for a chance to share this sentiment with someone directly or indirectly related to them. I didn’t think it would be fair to Karkat to be too straightforward about this and visit John’s family, or yours, simply for this reason. I thought it was good fortune to meet you, though I was not sure--and I admit that I am still unsure--of whether you would be receptive to my invitation, seeing as I don’t want to intrude in whatever you were doing.”

 

You feel a little awkward about that. “You want to thank me? For Dave?”

 

“That isn’t the only reason I invited you in, if that is what you are concerned about,” Kankri says quickly. “But, yes, I have been hoping for an opportunity like this one to arise.”

 

“Uh,” you try to think of a way to respond to this. Seeing as how Dave has only been encouraging John to convince Karkat to have them over every day because he has it really bad for him, you’re not sure whether to accept Kankri’s thanks or not. “I don’t think you should feel like you have to thank him anyway. He’s a great brother and he’s a great friend.”

 

Kankri flinched a little and sipped at his water in an attempt to hide it. “If I was suggesting that Dave is in any way insincere or pretentious in his friendship, I apologize. I just wanted to say that his presence in Karkat’s life means a lot to me, as a brother.”

 

“Yeah, I get you.”

 

“I’m not trying to clutter the time or conversation with an analysis of my brother.”

 

“No, I get it. I mean, the only connection we really have is our brothers. I’d probably think of stuff about them if I met you in front of my place.”

 

“I suppose so.” Kankri takes another sip and puts his glass down. “Would you rather continue to discuss them, or--”

 

“It’s okay. You can talk about anything. Like... I don’t know... books, politics, career choices?” Anything to keep your mind off Jake and how much you wish everything was still perfect, like it was several months ago.

 

“Career choices?”

 

“Sure. What is it you do?” You’ve never bothered to ask before, and Dave has never said anything about it.

 

“I’m an editor. Right now I read over articles and stories of several different writers. I make corrections and suggestions where necessary.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“It allows me to work at home, which is comfortable and convenient. As long as I complete my tasks quickly and effectively, I can spend plenty of time taking care of Karkat. That, of course, is my main priority. We are financially stable, so holding this position while not being required to pursue a college degree, and also being able to do it from this apartment is a fortuitous condition. I can also cook without worrying about time constraints, which means that I can invite Karkat into the kitchen and teach him what I know. Quick-service chain restaurants, while affordable, convenient and accessible to many, are not a desirable option in my opinion for raising a teenager.”

 

You shrug. “Some people don’t know how to cook.”

 

Kankri’s lips press into a thin line and he takes a quick sip of water again. “While still being sensitive to others’ lifestyles and upbringings, I am merely making this point of cooking at home rather than daily purchasing prepared packaged food or fast food because of my own standpoint of living at the moment. I am sorry if I offended you.”

 

“No, it’s fine. People have their preferences. As long as you don’t make a big deal out of telling people why your ideas are better than theirs, I don’t see why it should matter.”

 

“I honestly do my best not to trigger people into uncomfortable positions.”

 

“That’s more than a lot of people can say. Especially at school. They just talk about what they like and think and don’t care about how the people around them will react.”

 

“I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t ideally improve as you move on into college and careers. While adults are not as harsh with their words as teenagers, they still can be quite uninformed or biased concerning topics they likely should refrain from discussing. And they can also intentionally hurt people. Though it does not happen as much to myself, several of my writers are of ethnicities that are commonly stereotyped and discriminated upon.”

 

“Sorry about that. They’re just haters who can’t deal with differences.”

 

“I can deal with it just fine. Though I often worry about Karkat.”

 

“I think that the most he gets pissed off at is when people see him reading romance books and make fun of how he’s a guy and he’s reading them. Never mind that other guys  
read romance occasionally. I mean, sometimes I do.”

 

“Karkat is emotionally fragile and he connects deeply with the protagonists of some of the books, as many readers find themselves doing. He reads his romance novels because he admires how the characters’ fictional lives play out and he finds himself longing for their simpler life complications that lead to a satisfying conclusion. I don’t encourage retaliation in indignation at others making light of his fondness for the books, but I can understand his train of thought up to the unfortunate violent reactions. That is, when he shows visible signs of being affected by the story, which is perfect in his mind, he finds it a personal attack when an outsider mocks him.”

 

You don’t encourage fighting either, but there have been instances when you found yourself defending one of your friends and things another and you ended up throwing punches. It happens. At least Kankri can accept it, since it seems to happen with Karkat a lot.

 

“The thing is, when a person is already emotionally insecure and something happens to upset their world, especially if it is a matter concerning romance, it is understandable that a person would...” Kankri suddenly breaks off.

 

You don’t realize it for a second, but your face is twisted up in pain. You had been feeling so comfortable, listening to Kankri, and then one comment makes you remember Jake and his face when you broke up with him and how shitty you feel about everything.

 

You tense. Should you just get up and leave?

 

A hand lands comfortingly on your shoulder. You look at Kankri, who has shifted closer on the couch and is looking at you in concern. Like he would his brother, maybe. Come to think of it, you’re only two years older than his own brother, and four years younger than him. 

 

He just says, “I’m sorry,” and squeezes your shoulder gently.

 

You’re not sure what it is that makes you lean against him and hug his neck and bury your face against his hair. Maybe you’re just desperate for some kind of affection, and you know you’re not going to get it from your brothers. He puts his arms around you, holding you but not locking you in place.

 

It feels right. It feels perfect. His breath warms your back. His arms don’t move but the fingers stroke your back in small circles gently. His hair is soft and thick and you want to fall asleep in it and never leave. You drive the thought of Jake and the hurt away by thinking about how Kankri feels, sitting up against him. You like it. It’s not like a big brother anymore. It’s the kind of comfort you found yourself wanting from Jake so much.

 

You think back to how you had been talking with Kankri. You hadn’t been thinking about it because you just needed someone to talk with, but now...

 

Now that you’re hugging him and breathing in his scent and trying to fill your mind with this person here in front of you instead of the person who let your heart slowly bleed out until you finally decided to stop everything before you were nothing...

 

He’s strong and sensitive and his voice is soothing. Looking back, he’s actually pretty gorgeous too, with his brown skin and his dark wavy hair and his reddish eyes that glow with understanding and care and something like eternity where Jake’s shined with life and excitement and challenges. You hadn’t even realized it, but you have--in the spanse of a conversation over glasses of iced water on star coasters--developed some kind of non-platonic feelings for Kankri.

 

You panic.

 

No. No. No. You don’t want a rebound. You don’t want a meaningless relationship just to make you feel complete again once Jake left you drained. You want something lasting, with someone you can love and can love you back just as much.

 

You kind of hope that maybe Kankri can be that person.

 

But you can’t suddenly throw this at him. And you can’t suddenly thrust yourself into this.

 

You end the hug yourself. “Thanks,” you tell Kankri. He smiles warmly and you hope you’re not smiling back as much as you think you might be.

 

“If you need something to distract yourself, I can find a deck of cards. Or I can get some old board games out.”

 

“That’d be great.”

 

.........................................

 

One month later, you’re lying with your back on the couch while Kankri smothers you with kisses. He is holding himself up with one hand while the other is cupping your face tenderly. You are holding him as close as possible, sliding your hands up and down his body and feeling the contours of Kankri’s body beneath his clothes. 

 

He refuses to do anything sexual with you for a while, until he gets used to dating a person four years younger than him. But you don’t care. 

 

You spent two weeks arriving at the apartment early to pick up Dave and letting the boys finish up while you chatted with Kankri. He liked your company and you just found more things about him to like. He talked in circles sometimes, but you could understand what he really meant behind it all.

 

He didn’t like offending people. He wanted people to be comfortable around him.

 

After the first week, you began dropping little hints that you liked him by brushing your hand against him occasionally or watching his pretty eyes a lot or sending plenty of smiles at him after he finished explaining something and was waiting for you to reply. Sometimes you took off your shades around him, like the first time, but he admitted that they look good on you, in his lengthy, wordy way. 

 

Finally, after the second week, you stopped him before he could start talking and told him how you felt. You swore that this wasn’t just a desire to stop feeling alone and that you really felt something with him.

 

He was nervous and shocked. After being speechless for a moment, he told you how he might be concerned about a relationship with a seventeen-year-old, but you did your best to soothe his fears and promise that it could be good. 

 

You asked him to try it.

 

He tried it. He told you a few days of kisses and non-platonic hugs later, red-faced, that he liked it and he’d like to date you.

 

You know that he likes it. He likes you and he shows it in his cute smiles and his words and the way that he knows how you’re feeling. That confidence that he wants to be a part of this just makes your heart swell and your mind sing and you don’t even think about Jake unless you see him at school. Jake has asked about getting back together, but you do your best to tell him the two of you are better separate. 

 

He’s nervous about letting Karkat know about you, but you don’t make a fuss about that. After all, you’d still have to find a way to explain to Dave that you got Karkat’s big brother before he got Karkat. 

 

Once he finally mans up and confesses, this might get interesting, but there’s no way you’re giving up Kankri. 

 

Kankri pulls back up and there’s that amazing smile again. He climbs off you and allows several more kisses. You tear your eyes away from him and check the time, sighing.

 

“They’re going to be here in five minutes.” 

 

“You should go.”

 

“Yeah,” you murmur reluctantly. You get up and smoothen your clothes and your hair. Then you turn back to Kankri and wink before sliding your shades back on your face.

 

“See you tomorrow.” You move to leave.

 

“Dirk.”

 

You freeze and look back at Kankri.

 

“I love you.”

 

And if that doesn’t cement the final bit of healing on your heart that Kankri has been doing for you this past month, you don’t know what would.

 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I want to smush them together and make them happy.


End file.
